how it ends

I've written and erased this post at least three time by now, but I haven't been able to get it right so far. It seems like no matter how I word it, my expression isn't enough to portray what I'm thinking or how I'm feeling.
Putting this into words makes me nervous, and I don't know why.
That night... was such a great night. I had so much fun laughing and talking with everyone. Time flew by. But what I really enjoyed, was you.
And now I'm stuck.
It seemed like we were long lost friends. It was comfortable, but we were learning all these wonderful things about each other. Things that we both, or at least I think we both, enjoyed. We just clicked.
I didn't want to leave, and I especially didn't want to drive to Boise the next day. I wanted to have so many more nights like that. I wanted you to be at mocha the next morning so I could say goodbye... or something.
But you weren't there. And I did drive to Boise.
And now...

You. Don't. Talk to me.

It's heartbreaking really. I mean, obviously, I'm blogging about this damn incident. It's ridiculous to feel this way. But, why? Why don't you talk to me? Why haven't we had wonderful conversations about music and movies and books and life? I wrote you. You replied to my message. You gave me your number and I gave you mine. And then... nothing. What good is a number if you never use it?
I mean, were you pretending? Am I really not that interesting to you? Or, is that just how you are? Do you just not like to use phones or the internet to keep in touch? Does it defeat the purpose of a truly great conversation? If that's just how you are... I'm fine with that! I have friends, really great friends, who hardly talk to me at all when we're not in the same city. I can deal with that.

I just want to know. And I just want you to know how great your company has made me feel, and how distraught the lack of your company has made me feel. I don't like losing out on having wonderfully interesting people in my life.

I don't know if you'll ever read this, and I'm probably okay with that. Just trying to get this off my chest.

If this song isn't a great way to end this rambling, bumbling, mess of a post, I don't know what is.