fitz and dizzyspells

Well, since I have to keep a blog for my education technology class, I guess I decided that posting on this one too wouldn't be too bad.

I've been having to get up rather early every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for my american lit class... and so far, it hasn't been pleasant. I don't know why I've reacted to these early mornings so terribly. I wake up feeling relatively okay... but by the time my first class has ended, and I head home for my hour break, I feel weak, dizzy, and exhausted. I've even gone to bed early the night before hoping to decrease the symptoms, but to no avail. Not only do I have to wake up at this ungodly hour, but I have the worst possible schedule I could have planned.

So my solution to this problem is to try some sleep aids, at the advice of someone who has experience with these pills. I am typically prone to avoid pills at all costs, but I feel so terrible all day long. Also, these are supposedly non-addictive. Tonight shall be my first experiment in these, so I'll have to see how they go.

Aside from having such a terrible schedule, I am rather enjoying my classes. I recently changed my major to 'English Education' and am extremely pleased with the decision. I had been toying with the idea of changing majors for a while, but finally decided to go through with the change after an epiphany of sorts I experienced while showering and listening to 'Visions of Johanna' by sir Bob Dylan. I quickly jumped out of the shower and proceeded to change majors online. Since there was no time to waste (since I would need different classes and this was only a week before the new semester would start) I did so while still in the nude. It would have been a very confusing scene had anyone actually witnessed it.

Anyhow, this change in major has lead me to enroll in a literature class, with which I'm rather excited about. I don't know how great my professor will be, but exposing oneself to more literature is really an excuse to take the class either way.

Aside from school, I've recently become obsessed in obtaining "Lola Versus Powerman and the Moneygoround, Part One" by The Kinks. The only problem with this obsession is that I have no monetary means by which to purchase said album. So, I result to youtubing selected songs from the album. So it goes.

how it ends

I've written and erased this post at least three time by now, but I haven't been able to get it right so far. It seems like no matter how I word it, my expression isn't enough to portray what I'm thinking or how I'm feeling.
Putting this into words makes me nervous, and I don't know why.
That night... was such a great night. I had so much fun laughing and talking with everyone. Time flew by. But what I really enjoyed, was you.
And now I'm stuck.
It seemed like we were long lost friends. It was comfortable, but we were learning all these wonderful things about each other. Things that we both, or at least I think we both, enjoyed. We just clicked.
I didn't want to leave, and I especially didn't want to drive to Boise the next day. I wanted to have so many more nights like that. I wanted you to be at mocha the next morning so I could say goodbye... or something.
But you weren't there. And I did drive to Boise.
And now...

You. Don't. Talk to me.

It's heartbreaking really. I mean, obviously, I'm blogging about this damn incident. It's ridiculous to feel this way. But, why? Why don't you talk to me? Why haven't we had wonderful conversations about music and movies and books and life? I wrote you. You replied to my message. You gave me your number and I gave you mine. And then... nothing. What good is a number if you never use it?
I mean, were you pretending? Am I really not that interesting to you? Or, is that just how you are? Do you just not like to use phones or the internet to keep in touch? Does it defeat the purpose of a truly great conversation? If that's just how you are... I'm fine with that! I have friends, really great friends, who hardly talk to me at all when we're not in the same city. I can deal with that.

I just want to know. And I just want you to know how great your company has made me feel, and how distraught the lack of your company has made me feel. I don't like losing out on having wonderfully interesting people in my life.

I don't know if you'll ever read this, and I'm probably okay with that. Just trying to get this off my chest.

If this song isn't a great way to end this rambling, bumbling, mess of a post, I don't know what is.